i dont think my dad realizes, even though ive fucking told him multiple times, that what hes doing makes me want to die. i literally do not want to be alive after he yells at me. it affects me so much and i hate it but its always been like this and it doesnt even matter what he’s yelling at me about, but i always get so upset afterwards because it makes me think about how we have such a bad relationship and it breaks my heart
i have such a rocky relationship with my dad and it literally makes me wish i was never born. i hate this like he just ruined my entire night and im too upset to actively do my homework or study and i just want to go to bed and fucking die in my sleep. i dont want to go home for easter or in between semesters like im tired. i dont want to be alive im tired of this. im tired of having to hide from my parents and having to lie to them all the time. im jealous of people who are friends with their parents and can tell them everything. i really, really try to have a good relationship with my parents but things never work out and i can never talk to them about sensitive topics without getting yelled at. i just want to have a good relationship with the people who raised me like why do i have everything else i could possibly ask for other than that???
Like I seriously haven’t felt this terrible in a while
I almost straight up cried WHILE I WAS ASLEEP like what the FUCK
I’m so fucking tired oh my god I’m gonna fail my exam and I’m probably just gonna cry like I’m over it
I’m over today
I’m over this week
I just want to sleep
im dying like this is probably the first time I’ve pulled an all-nighter since like sophomore year of high school someone please come end me
Before I used to be a little skeptical to believe that men would rather receive a flat out rejection instead of being lead on or ghosted but now I’m like literally grabbing boys’ faces and yelling “PLEASE REJECT ME”
